More On The Mindset Tip…Straight Talk

To make it through an extreme situation, becoming self-aware is essential. Your disposition and response during a crisis will be critical – especially if you have children. You must be very honest with yourself about how you react to stressful situations and put in the work to make improvements. Ask yourself the following questions and see where you can make needed adjustments:

How do you handle stress?
If you answer “I don’t,” you must prioritize working on that. If the day-to-day machinations of life drive you to rage or tears, how well would you keep it together during a disaster where you may have to make tough choices quickly and possibly while on the move? You must be able to get ahold of yourself for your safety and your kids. They count on you to be a leader and keep them safe. If you are falling apart, you won’t be able to do that. Your “Mama Bear” response may kick in during a catastrophic event, but you shouldn’t let that be the time to find out if it will. Learn what triggers your stress-induced reactions, and find ways to deal with those triggers to where you recognize them, take a deep breath, and move through them without losing control. It could save your life.

Are you overly defensive/reactive?
If you tend to be a knee-jerk reactionary or always have a witty remark or sarcastic comment when someone does or says something that annoys you, learn how to keep that in check. You may not get into too much trouble with that now, but should the SHTF, your need to have the last word or “get someone told” may get you hurt or even killed. Emotions will run high, and if a previously timid soccer mom is willing to beat up an old lady for her water, imagine what the folks who were obnoxious bullies will become when the SHTF? The phrase “pick your battles wisely” will become more literal than figurative. So, begin letting a random stupid comment go without a response. You will never see that guy who cut you off in traffic again, so let it go. You may hate this idea. But walking away with your life is an option you want to give yourself when there is chaos.

Are you timid?
If you are easily intimidated, working on your confidence is a must. You don’t need to be a superwoman, but being overly timid can make you a target. You want to be able to walk and speak confidently, even if you’re faking it. If someone is looking for a target, they don’t want to second-guess an alert woman who has her head up and moves like she knows what she’s doing – they want an easy mark. You want them to choose anyone else. This may bother you morally, but a SHTF scenario is about survival. You put in the work to make it through this; you cannot stress over those who did not.

Is it hard to keep your prejudices in check?
In a crisis, people tend to put their differences aside to help each other, crossing religious, ethnic, and political lines to assist. But if you have a hard time dealing with people who are not like you…get over it, or you’ll have a more challenging time than you should. All bets are off in a crisis; at the very least, you want people willing to give you a heads-up if something goes sideways. Wearing your bigotry or intolerance on your sleeve will not do you any favors. Remind yourself that everyone just wants to get through this. In extreme situations, people will NOT display kindness if you show you don’t warrant what little they have to spare. Also, you never know who will come to your aid. It may be the type of person you least expect. Don’t let your attitude cost you needed assistance or your life.

Would you be called a Karen?
Understand that there will be no managers to ask for when the SHTF. If you are that woman, get out of that habit now. In a highly-charged disaster situation, there is no nice way of saying it – no one will put up with your…nonsense. The field has leveled during a disaster; you are just another person trying to get what they need, making it out of the store with what food you can scrounge before the store boards up. Having an attitude when people are frantic will create additional safety issues for you. Being less of a jerk during a crisis may serve you well when you need help and genuine compassion.

 Is it hard for you to be low-key?
Being “A Gray Man”* means blending into your surroundings and not calling attention to yourself. If you are known for your wild-colored hair, fancy fingernails, and colorful clothing, a SHTF scenario will not be a fun time. When folks are desperate and looking for anyone who may have resources or just someone to mess with out of anger or frustration, you DO NOT want to stand out. You may want to keep some neutral-colored plain clothing and common color hair dye in your preps to be low-key when you venture out during a SHTF scenario. You don’t want to be the solo female with the rainbow hair, neon yellow tracksuit, and bright white sneakers. This is NOT the time to show your individualism; you want to be as dull and milquetoast as possible to blend in with the masses. You want to get what you need, do what you need, and return to your safe place. Being forgettable in appearance means you arrive home unharmed and with whatever you ventured out to get.

Do you have control of your children?
It is a tough conversation, but your children must listen to you and control themselves during a crisis – especially if on the move – for your safety and sanity. Again, you want to blend in as much as possible. If your children are loud, whining, and physically displaying their discontent, this will add stress no one needs. You may be ignored, ostracized, or worse, get into confrontations with others with zero patience in a highly-charged situation. Of course, the child’s age is a factor; navigating a disaster with a toddler will be tough. But suppose you are having discipline issues with your children now. In that case, you may want to address this before they get any older, and definitely, before a disaster where you need their obedience and cooperation without resistance or pushback.

If you have a child(ren) with special needs, consider what they require during high-stress situations, and make sure you have plenty on hand. Confer with their doctor for advice on navigating an extreme situation with your child, and if they are old enough and can understand, assist in their well-being during times of crisis. Don’t wait until a SHTF situation to realize you do not have a sufficient supply of their medication or supplies or are not adequately prepared for their emotional and physical reactions to what is happening.

If you have more than one child, make prepping a team effort. Once they understand that you are in it together and they are an integral part of the team, you will have that extra support you will need when it’s “go time.” Give each child a role appropriate for their age and ability. One child can harness the pets while another grabs the bug-out bags, another can grab ice for the coolers, etc. Showing that you trust them to do what is necessary for the team may go a long way in building a solid relationship that may improve any disciplinary issues and ease some of your stress.

Can you travel light?
If you can’t do a 3-night stay one state away with less than six suitcases, you’ll need to make some adjustments! You may have to leave your home with whatever you can carry or fit in your car. You will have what is in your bug-out bags that must work on the go, along with essentials like water, food, and other necessities. Your clothing bag will not win fashion awards, but this is about practicality and survival, not style.

Next: Re-Thinking Priorities