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Shield Your Heart: How to Avoid Common Online Dating Scams

Online dating. Whee.

Being single can be an exciting time filled with new experiences and opportunities. However, knowing the potential dangers lurking in the digital world is important. Scammers prey on vulnerable people, and while the elderly are the most discussed and vulnerable to certain tactics, single women are often targeted as well. They prey on our emotions to extract money or enough personal information from us to steal our identity. Here’s a look at some common scams to watch out for as a reminder to not let your guard down.

Online Dating Scams

Online dating has revolutionized how people meet and created a breeding ground for scammers. Here are some common tactics:

  • The Catfish: Is someone pretending to be someone they’re not, using stolen photos and a fake identity. We’ve watched the show about this, and we may wonder, “How could anyone fall for this?” But some of us do. We’ll get charmed and not realize that weeks have passed without an actual meet-up or a video chat because something “always comes up.” 

Some Catfish are scammers trying to get money from you. Once a relationship seems established, the Catfish will concoct a crisis requiring immediate financial assistance. Because we ladies are taught to be helpful and we may have warmed up to him, we  may do it. $100 may not sound like a lot, but if he’s scamming several women at a time in rotation…Some are lonely guys trying to find love but don’t feel attractive enough to use their own pics. We’ll get lured in by the handsome pics and later find out Catfish is a Nottie, not a Hottie. Some are just cruel and want to play with someone’s heart. No matter the reason, this fish stinks. 

  • The “Sugar Daddy”: We SMSFs (Single Moms and Single Females) are often pinching pennies until they holler, so when a man presents himself as someone “looking for a lady to spoil,” we want it so bad to be true. It’s a twofer—we can be in love and be provided for. But he’s not a Sugar Daddy, he’s just another scammer playing the long game with a bigger carrot – the promise of getting off the struggle bus and onto a private jet. Some may even claim that they don’t want sex or nudie pics; they just want companionship. They’ll promise a payday if you are willing to engage with them (although never in person) for a couple of weeks, then use a tactic to try and steal your money.

Phishing Scams

While not exclusively targeting single women, phishing scams are prevalent and can have devastating consequences. These scams involve fraudulent emails or messages designed to steal personal information like passwords, credit card numbers, or social security numbers. We tend to juggle so many things at once that we may not be as careful as we should be. If you get an upsetting email or text stating something is wrong with an account, take a second. Take a deep breath. Read it again with care because it may be a scam. 

Scammy Dude

How to Protect Yourself

  • Be Wary of Online Profiles: That hot guy or celebrity with a million followers has no private account to talk to you. It ain’t him. If it’s in your spam, it probably belongs there. If you get a message from IG saying that this person has “changed their profile name several times,” you can bet he’s a Catfish/Daddy/imposter. Bottom line: If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Do a reverse image search on profile pictures to verify their authenticity. If nothing comes up, ask for a video chat. If they won’t, delete and block with the quickness.
  • Avoid Sharing Personal Information: Never share financial information or personal details with someone you’ve met online until you’re absolutely certain of their identity. It’s not just about the money; it’s also about personal safetyThey may not only be a scammer but someone who can try to harm you if you give too much away but don’t give them what they want. 

Don’t show them your license, your CashApp profile, or screenshot anything for them for “verification”. Don’t provide your banking information. If they say they can’t Zelle/Venmo/CashApp without information no one else usually asks for, they’re a scammer. 

  • Be Cautious of Requests for Money: Just don’t. If they say they’re in a bind, let them know you can’t help. Watch how quickly they flip on you!
  • Educate Yourself: Read articles and follow reputable online security sources to stay informed about the latest scams. Scammers are becoming more sophisticated, so you need to stay on top of their evolving tactics. 
  • Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t hesitate to end communication with someone who makes you uncomfortable. Blockety-block-block-block!

Be patient and cautious when getting to know someone online. Try not to be so eager to fall in love that it clouds your judgment. These creeps don’t care who they hurt. Don’t let it be you. By being aware of these common scams, you can protect yourself and enjoy the benefits of online dating safely.

For more dating commentary, check out my podcast episodes “Men With Mics – The new He-Man Women Haters Club” and “Why Women Are Team Bear“.